Your computer might be murdered just by visiting this site

Apparently Blogger hosts 2 percent of the world's malware. Who knew?

All the more reason to use Firefox, NoScript and, just be on the safe side, GNU/Linux.

Paul Morse, Leading Researcher

As has long been hypothesized by preeminent researcher Paul Morse of Yale University, the European Heart Journal has reported a connection between birth weight and health later in life.

"Eight-year-olds who were smaller at birth were more likely to have 'vascular resistance.'" But only for males. I don't really understand or particularly care, but shout out to Paul.

Inventing New Ways to Kill

Ever stab someone but they just didn't die? The WASP hunting knife will be providing certainty in an uncertain world from now on.

Just stab your victim and watch as their insides are filled with a basketball sized shot of compressed gas released by the stabbing.

Knife crime has been on the rise in Britain of late, and with such awesome knives I don't see why the US hasn't switched over this more gruesome killing tool. 100% endorsed by The Joker.

McCain camp should be careful what it wishes for

The LA Times reported Wednesday morning that McCain is going "on the offensive" against a perceived TV media bias toward Obama. Given that CBS, for example, is already destroying its own credibility by editing out McCain's serious mistakes(!), I say let him have all the TV coverage he wants. Put a camera on him 24/7. Then maybe the American people will start paying attention to this supposed foreign-policy expert's multiple references to countries that don't exist, mangling of history, concern about the "Iraq-Pakistan border," confusion of Sunnis and Shiites, and other incontesibly unpresidential mistakes. It would be charitable to say that the media has been giving McCain a free pass—imagine what would have happened if Obama had missed that fortuitous three-pointer in Kuwait!

Wow, Wall Street Journal

For a newspaper whose mugshots (the newsroom term for head shots) are hand-engraved, this was a shock to see on the WSJ's serious law blog—this particular post being about the Third Circuit's ruling Tuesday on the so-called Child Online Protection Act. (Fellow Bob Dunne fans will remember well the infamous COPA.)

A sign of things to come?

I love the Olympics. Watching my countrymen invade other nations and valiantly kick ass—awash in unbiased media coverage that supports our troops, for once—brings joy to my patriotic heart. (And hearing everything narrated by that one guy from "Pootie Tang" to the tune of "Summon the Heroes"? I could cry right now just thinking about it.)

But that's not all I'm anticipating this year: I eagerly await the added diversion of good old fashioned cultural and linguistic humor in Beijing this summer. I'm talking about the sort of fun to be had reading chopsticks labels ("experience glonius Chinese histoy and cultual!") and WTF-style signage (e.g., right). My hope is that Bob Costas and his distinguished NBC colleagues have the stones to replace at least one of those traditional sob stories (you know, "this brave athlete grew up with a hamster for a father and lost six limbs and a tooth to constant heroin use before turning her life around by training for the triathlon") with a wacky montage set to "Yackety Sax" featuring all the hilarious ways those inept Chinese (God bless 'em!) try and fail to welcome foreigners in English (Engrish?).

The least this would do is make the members of the International Olympic Committee—who, as The New York Times pointed out in a Tuesday editorial, have much more important reasons to be ashamed—feel foolish for allowing such a ridiculous country to play host to the venerable games.

Ringo, Unappreciated For So Long...

Turns out rock drummers really get a workout during a 90 minute set.

They work out as hard as professional athletes with heart rates spiking to 190 BPM. And unlike those pansies, they perform every night while traveling from city to city fighting off roaming packs of roadies and having to use cocaine just to fit in as rock stars.

Speaking of Christian Bale...

Check it out! It seems that the folks making those Terminator movies are hopping on the Bale-wagon and hoping that he'll breathe some new life into the franchise. The trailer kind of reminds me of that time I tried to film a bunch of nuclear bomb footage while having a grand mal seizure. It would be pretty entertaining to see a sixty year scrap-metal Ahnold running around and to see how "cleverly" the writers manage to add in lines like "I'll be back" while having the Terminators derp around in various awkward situations (e.g. Gay Bar, Breast Expansion in T3). I have to say that Claire Danes and that ugly kid playing John Connor really didn't cut it, so maybe a fresh face will help out.

Holy Assault Batman!

Speaking of Batman, Christian Bale is being held in London on charges that he assaulted his mother and sister.

Yikes!

Pope Benedict's Views on Materialism

The Onion is always good for a laugh. This is their reaction to recent comments by Benedict.